Mr. Mushy, the Kids, and Another Lesson in Race/Color

So I  let the kids meet Mr. Mushy.  It’s usually a rule for me to wait three months (most don’t last that long), but since I see Mr. Mushy three to four times more than all of the men I’ve ever dated, I figured he’d met the time requirements.  It went pretty smoothly.  I was surprised that he wasn’t overly nice or accommodating.  Which blew Maya’s hope of me finding a guy that will give her whatever she wants.  Ant was his usual sweet, adorable self.  **I am very proud of my well adjusted happy kids.  I give a finger to all those people who say single mom’s are source of all the unhappiness in the world.**   

A few days later, Ant and I were in Wal-Mart and we passed by a black girl and her very light-skinned companion and Ant said, “why is that black girl with that white guy” in a very flippant manner.  Hmmm, I thought for a second.  The guy was as light as Mr. Mushy and the only other person he’d seen me with was the very dark-skinned Jamaican .  He’s never asked me about the difference in skin color of Mr. Mushy and I, but I figure this was his way of asking me why I was with such a light/white guy so I had to tell him that there is nothing wrong with a black lady and a white guy (I probably should have pointed out he wasn’t white).  “It’s normal,” I reiterated.  (it’s not really but it is quickly becoming that way!).  I also reminded him of how he used to like the little blonde girl last year in his class.    “Oh,” he said.   

It’s weird, I know he sees all of the white women with black men at his school but there are no black women with white men at his school and he’s noticed the difference and seems to think the reverse is unnatural/not normal.

P.S. I’m not doing nanowrimo this yeah, but I am gonna try to do nanoblogmo (write a blog post everyday for the month of November) I’ve already missed a couple of days, but I’m still gonna try to stick with it.

 

November 2009 Net Worth

I haven’t done a net worth statement in a very long time.. so much for bringing my personal finance blog over here to keep myself accountable. (I will do BETTER!)  NE-way, I ended up spending in excess of $2,000 in August.  Yes, I made a major boo-boo.  Sigh.. thus I had to transfer $2,000 from my already pitiful emergency fund to cover the excess.    ::hangs head in shame::  Well after FINALLY doing a net worth statement, I feel even worse.  If I hadn’t over spent I would have had a positive net worth this month  for the first time ever!  Well at least I’m still going in a positive direction.  But all in all, I am not proud of my progress this year.  No, not at all.  ::sniff, sniff::  I am not looking forward to Christmas, but at least half of my Christmas presents will be bought with rewards points from my Chase “Freedom” credit card and MyPoints rewards points.  Yeah!!  Net Worth statement is below.

 

Assets	October	November	Difference
Cash Accts.	$10,762.00	$11,619.00	$857.00
Home	$124,500.00	$126,000.00	$1,500.00
Rental	$72,348.00	$72,348.00	$0.00
401k	$5,402.00	$6,659.00	$1,257.00
529	$527.00	$635.00	$108.00
Roth	$1,210.00	$1,285.00	$75.00
Misc (Car, etc)	$5,000.00	$5,000.00	$0.00
Total Assets	$219,749.00	$223,546.00	$3,797.00
Liabilities	October	November	Difference
CC	$900.00	$1,600.00	-$700.00
Home	$95,892.00	$95,436.27	$455.73
Rental	$65,909.00	$65,713.00	$196.00
HELOC	$8,530.00	$8,128.18	$401.82
Student Loans	$54,486.27	$54,336.76	$149.51
Total Liabilities	$225,717.27	$225,214.21	$503.06
Net Worth	-$5,968.27	-$1,668.21	$4,300.06

 

Dating Update Part I

Mr. Mushy and I seem to be doing okay.  We’ve been dating for six weeks and we’re out of the honeymoon phase and we’ve entered the work phase, which is the phase that will determine if it’s long term or not.  We’ve already gotten into three mini-disagreements or miscommunications this week.  Every time we get into some type of miscommunication I have to force myself not to close up like a clam and pretend that I’ve never met him.  This is the part of the relationship that requires work.  When I’ve tried to work on relationships in the past I’ve come away with 1^st degree burns.  I don’t like this work thing, it gives me a horrible, horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.  This is the part where I really have to put myself out there and trust this guy not to lie to me or blatantly disregard me.  Ugh.  I have to stop myself from dissecting everything he says and does to look for a lie.  I’ve wasted so much energy on liars and selfish men.  I literally have to force myself to enjoy this sometimes.   I don’t want to make the same mistakes again.  I refuse to make the same mistakes again.  Which doesn’t make dating very much fun sometimes.   It’s hard to look up and enjoy the view when you’re looking at the ground trying not to stumble.

The Next Chapter Begins

Ah the PE (Professional Engineering) exam is over!  Gosh.  This F-er was harder than the first two times.  I have to give it to the NCEES, they make sure they never give you the same test twice.  Sorry Bastards!  Anyway.  I’ll let yall know if I passed when I get the test results near Christmas (A-holes… they shouldn’t give out bad news around Christmas)  Sigh… Well I definitely know now that it’s the luck of the draw and a numbers game, (at least for me) because I know a lot!  I know so many PE problems it’s a shame.  But there are an infinite number of Environmental engineering questions and scenarios out there and there is no human way I could know them all.  So whatever.  Don’t count me out, cause I will conquer your arse! –I’m talking the PE test, btw.

Now I have to get back in the habit of writing.  I need to submit something to my thesis director by November 15^th.  Hmmm, that doesn’t give me much time.  I’m not sure how long it’s supposed to be.  He suggested I start over and make it character driven instead of plot driven.  I agree, so I’m doing it.  Two hundred and something pages down the drain.  ::shrug::  Whatever, it’s all in the guise of doing better.

Check ya later!

Food for thought

http://www.ontheroadtoqueendom.com/2009/10/if-you-arent-married-youre-single.html

 

 

Happiness is A Warm Gun

Jamaica emailed me today.  He bought up the weird anti-proposal from the last time I saw him.  Apparently the anti-proposal was supposed to be some kind of real proposal, or so he says a month and a half later out of the blue.  (I’m not at the point where I’ll accept anything from a guy just because he brings up marriage.  I am ashamed to admit I used to be that way.  Thank God for the singlution!)    I told him I was seeing someone.  I don’t know why he feels like he should be able to  treat me like crap and in return I should give him my undying love and respect.  He’s too old not to recognize that he has a problem, and I’m too old to make excuses for him.  I owe it to me and my children not get caught up with someone who has issues with intimacy and happiness.  I hope he finds happiness, it’s the most sacred thing in the world.  I wish he’d talk to someone about what makes sustained intimacy so hard for him.  He probably won’t, but I pray that he does.   In the mean time, I’m really happy with Mr. Mushy (That will be his name I think.)  He’s not really very mushy, but he describes himself that way, and he is one of the nicest guy I’ve met, so I’ll go with Mr. Mushy. 

p.s.  I was just gonna name this post Happiness, but at the moment I’m listening to “Happiness is a Warm Gun” from Across the Universe Soundtrack So I chose that as the title.   I’ve recently discovered The Beatles.  YEAH!  Talk about poetry set to music.  Wow!  I finally know why they’re such a big deal.  

P.S.S I want to give a shout out to the Single lady blogs (and Miles Per Hour).  I really needed what I learned from them to give myself permission to be happy and single.  It feels so good.  And if Mr. Mushy aint the one, I don’t have to feel an ounce of guilt for choosing to leave him alone and continue the search.  It may hurt for a little while, but…. Happiness is priceless (Or a warm gun) and I deserve it just as much as anyone else.

 

Thick Skin, I have

Beckie gave me a shout out on her blog so I figured I’d better write a post.  I actually wrote something yesterday but deleted it.  It was about the guy I’m dating.  Unfortunately, if you google my name my blog comes up and since everyone googles their dates nowadays, I wasn’t for sure if I wanted to go there.  But I really like posting about such things so I have the choice of hoping he’s not a google-er (which I doubt) or making my blog private, which isn’t a good idea since I’m supposed to be some kind of writer.

Speaking of writing.  I turned in the first 60 pages of my thesis to my thesis director and he hated it.  Butchered it.  Shat on it.  ::rolls eyes::  I was a wee bit upset, but not much.  He’s very literary and apparently doesn’t like fantasy.  ::shrug:: no biggie.  Whether he likes fantasy or not, I’m doing it.  As of right now, I’m in love with urban fantasy and I want to diversify it.  He also accused me of plagiarizing because I used “glamour,” which tells me this guy has not read much fantasy.  He might as well accuse me of plagiarizing Tolkien by including elves.  He may not be the best thesis director if he’s accusing me of plagiarizing such a common term, but we’ll see.  I respect him and since he wrote me a two page death letter, I’ll assume he cares-a little. 

He tore me up about my grammar, too.  Which sucks because I had two people read over it before I even turned it in.  Ugh!

For a tenth of second, I thought about quitting but I have no choice but to write.  I’ve tried to quit  before, but I feel paralyzed and utterly unhappy if I don’t write.  Of course, I could just write for myself and forget about perfecting it for others, but… that doesn’t make sense either.  It may be a hobby, a hopeless hobby, but every person with a serious money consuming hobby tries her best to excel at it.   

I’m proud of myself, actually.   A year or two ago I would have been weeping hysterically and quit the whole program.  I’ve obviously developed a pretty thick skin.  Not bad, not bad at all.   But I will take his suggestion and start the draft over, but I’m not giving up on fantasy or myself.

In the meantime, I promise you an update on the guy I’m dating.  I need to figure out a fake name for him like Jamaica’s and The Plumber’s.  Hmmm… Let’s see.  We have Shorty—because he is short 5’7” or The Marine-since he’s in the Marine’s.  Hmmm when I think of him though I think of his light skin.  He almost has no pigment.  He’s a few shades from being an albino.  So I think I’m gonna call him Yellow, the first yellow guy I’ve ever dated.  It’s not so bad.  I probably should have gone yellow a lot earlier.  Hahaaha, just kidding.  I will not name him Yellow.  –He may google me and get offended--- ;)